Why "Calm" Doesn’t Start on the Leash

If your dog is overwhelmed outside, the answer isn’t more exposure or more leash walks.

Think about how you recover from stress.

Most of us don’t calm our nervous system by adding more stimulation. We don’t come home from a hard day and immediately head back out into chaos. We seek familiarity, quiet, and predictability.

Dogs are no different.

True nervous system regulation — real calm, not shutdown — begins where your dog spends most of their life: at home. They need their own version of a glass of wine and a Netflix show.

For me, the moment I walk through the door, my nervous system is looking for safety. Over time, I’ve found a simple routine that helps me downshift.

I run a bath, make a cup of tea, and the dogs curl up nearby while I settle. Then I change into comfy clothes and climb into bed with all three dogs. Within minutes, they fall into a deep sleep while I read or nap.

This takes about 30 minutes.

When I get up, I feel regulated and ready again — and so do they. We’ve recovered together. That’s co-regulation.

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This is where reactivity is often misunderstood.

Reactivity isn’t primarily a trigger problem. It’s a regulation and recovery problem.

Helping a dog regulate doesn’t start on walks, in classes, or during training sessions. It starts in the environment where their nervous system is meant to come back down every day.

Your dog’s sympathetic nervous system is constantly scanning:

• sounds

• movement

• visual access

• proximity

• confinement

  
  

When the home environment keeps that system subtly activated — not enough to explode, but enough that it never fully settles — your dog carries that tension everywhere else.

This often happens when a dog’s only resting space is in high-traffic areas like the kitchen or near the front door, where noise, motion, and visual stimulation never stop.

Your home isn’t just where your dog lives. It’s where their nervous system is supposed to recover.

Small environmental shifts can dramatically reduce baseline stress:

• buffering resting spaces away from doors and foot traffic

• breaking constant visual access to windows (screens can help)

• creating predictable arrival and entry routines

• using gates as boundaries, not confinement

• supporting sleep quality and true rest (brown or white noise can be helpful)

  
  

This isn’t about adding more enrichment or stimulation. Please no more licki mats or puzzle feeders.

It’s about creating enough safety for the nervous system to stand down, so your dog can recover at home and cope better everywhere else.

For thoughtful companion-centred design ideas, visit Brandi Wyldewood of Wyldewood Designs.

​Jessica Logan is a dog behavior specialist and educator based on Salt Spring Island, helping people and dogs build safety, trust, and understanding through connection and co-regulation.